the one about vibrance
For the past few years, I’ve been meditating on this one word: vibrance. It was something I lacked, something I longed for, and something I remember having as a young girl. My journey to find vibrance has been rocky, but I continue to trudge forward because I know, for darn sure, I don’t want to track backward.
Here’s my dream of what a vibrant Margaret looks like:
She has joyful eyes.
She wakes up with energy.
She listens without judgment.
Her skin glows.
She’s able to apologize and own up to her faults.
She can keep up with and lead her children.
She laughs with her husband and loves him fiercely.
She’s physically strong.
She lifts up and supports those around her.
It’s almost as if she has beams that radiate a golden light and touches those around her.
I remember a stage of life where I had exuberant energy, I was strong, and I had joyful eyes and glowing skin but that was about 18 years ago. From my teenage years to about my mid-twenties, I felt like I lived in a fog. Sure I had physical strength, but I was also constantly exhausted, angry, jealous, craving affirmation, and lacked self-confidence.
July, 2001
MY LOW POINT
I hit my low point when we had our second child. I was losing hair, stuck in fight or flight, running on cortisol, not sleeping, my marriage was struggling and I couldn’t see a way out.
I needed something to change, something drastic. One random afternoon, I stumbled upon a minimalist blog post on Pinterest. I read it and was intrigued. She claimed that my stress was coming from the clutter in my life and, I mean, it was something I hadn’t tried yet, so that afternoon I decided to declutter my closet.
Amazingly, that’s when things started to shift.
I didn’t realize how freeing it would be to let go of not only clothing but dozens of narratives that were haunting me every time I opened my closet.
There aren’t enough options.
Wear that, you’ll look like “her”.
You need more.
Where is that piece?
You need to work harder to fit into that.
Suck it in.
They will pay more attention to you if you wear that.
People will judge you with that on.
Why are you so messy?
…the list went on and on.
FINDING VIBRANCE
After decluttering my closet, I continued to declutter every nook and cranny of our home. It was addicting and even life-giving to finally let go of the clutter that stole from me and my family.
When I finished, I found that I had more time to spend with my loved ones, more energy and I was also paying closer attention to myself for the first time in what felt like a decade.
Here’s a list of what I was able to reintroduce into my life after shedding that massive layer of clutter, subconscious pressures, and negative narratives.
Quality time with Tate and my children. One of my love languages is quality time and I was able to make time and even ask for it. It was amazing to me how simple and effective it was to fill my love tank when there was time and energy for it. If you haven’t read the love languages book, I’ll link it here for you.
I started eating enough food. I had been malnourished for over a decade. It started out as a desire to be skinny in high school but after playing a D1 sport and having children I knew the importance of eating clean food, but didn’t realize the importance of eating ENOUGH. I wasn’t trying to starve myself, I just didn’t prioritize my meals…I was too busy. So I can sadly admit that my body was stuck in fight or flight because it thought it was starving. I could talk a lot more on this subject and maybe it will be a future blog post, as many of you have asked about this part of my healing journey. But essentially I focus on a big, protein-heavy breakfast, eating balanced-macro(protein, carbs, and fat) meals that support my blood sugar levels, drinking enough filtered water with added minerals, and focusing on bioavailable and nutrient foods instead of restrictions. *this is not medical advice
I slowed down. Without all the clutter to keep up with, I was able to incorporate more stillness practices like reading, writing, drawing, going on nature walks, and lingering at the table with my husband. These activities sound mundane and simple but they were incredibly impactful in lowering my cortisol, which leads me to the next point.
I started paying attention to my stress, more specifically, activities, situations, and even types of entertainment that overstimulated me and spiked my cortisol. It took some time, but the difference I feel mentally and physically compared to 5 years ago is nothing short of astounding. I’m now aware of what elevates my stress, and I know how to take myself out of those situations quickly to avoid a looming emotional breakdown. This was and still is a crucial piece of the puzzle for me when it comes to finding vibrance. With two little boys and an almost full-time job, stress and overstimulation can show up rather quickly.
Welcoming nature into my home, wardrobe, and microbiome. It was only when I decluttered and made more space in my life that I learned the value of nature and its importance in our life. Where do you feel the calmest? Where are you when a wave of peace rushes over you? Where do you find yourself exhaling easily? For me, every single one of those answers has to do with being outside. I can’t help but believe it was designed that way. If the act of taking your shoes off and touching the ground can energize your cells, it seems pretty clear that our health and vibrance are reliant on nature.
More laughter. It really is the best medicine. A few things that I’ve welcomed into my life to help me laugh more:
Clarkson’s farms on Amazon. Tate and I cry laughing at every episode (please be warned, there is foul language).
Spending quality time with my children. They are funny! And I see it when I’m paying attention.
Reading. I’ve enjoyed reading some fiction books that make me laugh.
Giving up the pressure to always have serious and meaningful conversations. I don’t know why, but I always had that subconscious pressure and it’s been so nice to just shoot the breeze and laugh with Tate, my family, and my friends.
Writing down my gratitude list. There’s something different about writing it out. It’s like it made it stick. Since adopting this habit, I see the good much more clearly, so much so, that it shocked me. Of course, I have my difficult seasons and grey days, but more often than before I’m catching myself and shifting my thoughts to gratitude rather than sulking. If you knew me years ago, you would see how monumental this is. It was natural and even comforting for me to dwell on the negative! This practice is radically changing that for me.
Supplements have played a large role in helping me feel vibrant again. A few that I take regularly are
Shilijit, Magnesium, and Vitamin E by MitoLife
Beef Liver or Organs from Perfect Supplements
Tinctures from Organic Olivia when I need a boost in any certain area.
I also eat local, raw bee pollen and honey daily for an extra boost in nutrients.
*This is not medical advice, please consult your practitioner before trying anting new. I’ll link all of these products and I want you to READ about them! Their info section under each supplement is wildly fascinating and helpful. On top of that, I want you to see that they are all wonderful, small companies that aren’t looking to mass produce, rather, they want to help their customers thrive. Cool stuff.
That’s my list! There are more small habits that I’ve welcomed into my life but wanted to touch on the biggest ones to hopefully show you that finding vibrance is just an act of simplifying and getting back to our roots. It’s so easy to be swept up in the hustle and bustle, in comparison and even in subconscious pressures and narratives.
My wish is for you to find the vibrance and freedom that I found through making small shifts and focusing on what I have rather than what I don’t. I’m 29 and more hopeful about my future than ever. Not because I think I’m going to be successful, I know failure and hardships loom around the corner. But I’m taking care of myself, prioritizing the things that matter, and seeking vibrance. It’s strengthening me. I feel it.
Talk soon,
Marge